|David Blaine - biggest douche in the universe
||[Apr. 15th, 2006|12:52 am]
|||||Agony of Fallen Grace - Old Man's Child||]|
I fucking hate that piece of shit David Blaine. He is the epitome of the 20th century man, and hes getting fame and fortune for it. By this I mean he sits there and does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and calls it magic. Be it standing on a small platform fora day, being encased in ice, fasting in a box, or his latest mockery, living under water, all he does is sit there, smile for the camera, and make millions for it. Meanwhile, I sit here, and actualy PERFORM magic ( I swear that knife I threw last month has disappeared), and fall deeper into debt.
Lets list of his assinine tricks one by one
Standing on a platform for 35 hours - wow....you can stand still. Granted, 35 hours is a long ass time to stand on a small platform, but then again, just what is he doing? STANDING THERE! and we put this on television?
Encased in ice for 61 hours - now tis required much suspeded disbelif, as he is not actually encased in Ice, it is more a less an ice fortress where he has little room to move. He is being fed food and oxygen intra-venously, and just has to endure the cold. But then again, what about ppl who are FORCED into these situations be it a plane crash or somethin (Since Ive recently seen ALIVE, its fresh in my mind), where these people are FORCED into situations and DONT get the same luxaries as food that Blaine recieves. And yet, Blaine's 'trick' was aired durig prime time, and he made an assload of money off of it
Fasting for 44 days in a box situated above the Thames river - I find this hard to believe. I mean, c'mon, 44 days? for a man of Blaine's situation (read filty rich and a product of western society), he wouldnt last 30 days. So he was obviously cheating on this one. Plus, as with my other poaint with the Ice Castle trick, ppl are FORCED to do this on a daily basis, People ae starving all over the world, without 'being paid or showing off' and yet Blaine makes a bg deal that he's doing this. What a fucking pompous asshole. This trick also proved there is no god....cause if there were, he would have sunk that box during the middle of the night and prevented any rescue
and now, his latest mockery of man kind -
Living under water for 7 days - This is once again, asinine. He's being fed oxygen and food intrvenously, and its in heated water, so all he does is, and I quote, sit there, so "Passers by will be able to touch the aquarium, take pictures with Blaine and communicate with him" (ABC News story). So wheres the magic?I dont know much about magic (yet), but I did take Grade 11 Biology, and learned a little bt about OZZMOSIS and DIFFUSION.....you know..why your fingers get wrinkly after being in the pool for so long, or why corpses bloat after being in the water for a short period of time? Well, I can se this happen to him, or rather not, since this will be on during prime time again, and if Survivor wont show someone dying, neither will this
So in conclusion, the magic David Blaine uses is siply the stupidity of everyone who believes that shit. He does absolutely nothing, and gets fame and fortune for it, esecially for the tasks that otheres endure on a regular basis
Fuck you Blaine, you stupid cunt!